Cycles, seasons and slowing down

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Hello April.

This month I am welcoming in a few personal changes.  March felt a little challenging and I've realised that is because I have been sucked back into the rat-race of life and I'm left somewhat baffled as to how I've allowed that to happen given the many years I have spent making a conscious effort to step out of all that craziness.  There are some obvious reasons, one of which is that I am still learning how to manage this parenting thing solo-style.  I'm yet to figure out what that will look like for the long-term since I know the method I have been using over the past twelve months is not sustainable.  I've still been trying to be the same Mum I have always strived towards, but added to that is this unrealistic idea I got into my head that I can maintain that ideal as well as adopt the role of Dad.  All the while homestead our suburban block, overhaul our garden, plan our renovations, and meet various writing commitments.  I had this idea that with two children at school I would be able to play superwoman but the reality is, it's not going to happen, nup, not a good idea and not going to work. 

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So all this has been escalating and lately I've felt like the rat on the wheel peddling ever the faster to try and keep up.  Well this little rat's legs are exhausted!  And I'm going on record to say that I'm going to take a flying leap and get myself off that wheel, while making sure that leap is large enough that I don't get dragged under and crushed.  That's not a good visual!  I'll be sure to leap good and wide so a decent clearance is guaranteed.

What this is teaching me though, is that living a slow simple life requires attention.  It's like all things we strive towards, if you sit back and get too complacent then before you know it, your skills start to get a little rusty.  It's my life and I am absolutely accountable for how I live it.  

Earlier last month, it was reported* that the cosmic energies of March would bring many things to the surface.  It began with a New Moon coupled with a Solar Eclipse, then there was the Equinox, followed by the Full Moon which also happened to be a Lunar Eclipse.  That's kinda a major line-up with all the various planets involved but I'm not an astrologist or astrophysicist so there's no way I'm going to be able to explain those influences and make sense at the same time but for us Humans it meant intense feelings of uncertainty, beginnings, endings and just a rather uncomfortable shake up in general.  I don't know about you, but my month was definitely filled with a whole load of that and I'm pretty happy to be on this side of it with the awareness I've gained.

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It seems perfectly fitting for me to be feeling this way and acknowledging the adjustments I need to make with Autumn now in full swing and the colder months fast approaching.  I remember as a kid and for my young adult years I always felt very apprehensive about Winter.  No doubt that was because I am one who feels the cold to the extreme level and never actually dressed myself appropriately.  That doesn't mean to say I strutted around in skimpy outfits, haha no, I've never been that kind of gal, but I simply never layered enough or considered the effectiveness of thermals.  Or wool for that matter.

These days and for many years now I have discovered the incredible power of Merino wool thermals (no they are not itchy, not the ones I have anyway), of which in the depths of winter I wear no less than three layers up top and long-johns on the bottom.  Atop those, are my clothes which always involve some kind of knit, a beanie and shawl - or variations there of.  I also have the most amazing pair of winter boots!!  I bought them several seasons ago with the knowledge that I would truly look after them given the investment they involved.  They were purchased from my local shoe store but were made in Sweden and crafted for a Swedish Winter.  They are stylish, dateless and have a waterproof, leather outer with a Merino wool inner.  I've nicknamed them my gumboot / uggboot hybrid with style to match their comfort level!  And let me assure you, they are absolutely heaven to wear and never needed to be 'broken in'!

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So, Winter wardrobes aside and getting back on-point, with age and maturity, a completely different attitude has come about towards these colder months ahead and instead of apprehension, I now absolutely wholeheartedly relish the chance to cocoon myself beneath the woolen layers, sit snugly by the fire and observe the world rush past me.  I'm not hurrying anymore and that word, slow, with all the meaning it conjures up is so very appealing to me right now.  We live in a world that seems to encourage an evergreen nature, well I for one am making a conscious decision to be deciduous, or perhaps dormant would be a better description.  There are areas of my outer and inner world that have been neglected and now they are in dire need of attention.  These coming months will offer me the gift of time.  The space that I need to rest and reassess my day-to-day strategies so I can be a stronger, healthier Mum and single parent. 

I often wonder whether the other animals of Nature feel this same way as they gather and prepare themselves for their time of dormancy?  Whether they go about their seasonal activities feeling so very tired and longing for the coming Winter rest?  But then, they are not really as silly as us Humans and therefore have the natural sense to pace themselves so when it is their time to rest, I doubt they collapse in a heap of exhaustion, but more linger and soak up the last of the sun and warmth before snuggling in with their stores.

I have become very aware over the years that the more I embrace a conscious existence, the more connected and in-tune I am becoming with Mother Nature and her Seasons.  They are a part of me and I am a part of them.  Of course I know this, we all do.  Or at least we read about it frequently.  But these days it's so much more than that, these days I know it and I read about it, but oh wow, how much do I FEEL it now too!? 

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* I love Selacia's Energy tips for navigating tricky galactic line-ups.  I am such a believer in the "Bigger Picture" (as you have probably figured out by now if you've been hanging out with me a while) and what happens out in our Universe has a significant effect on us here with Mother Earth.  It's a BIG topic and not one for me to delve into now but I'm on Selacia's mailing list and can't find a direct link to her March Newsletter so the best I can offer is the link to her website.  If you're incline to know more then you might find having a read of her stuff and/or signing up to her newsletters pretty interesting...

By the way, that's not an affiliate link xo